I have asked several times what motivates me? How did I pick myself up, dust myself off and keep going against my odds? At 27, after spending almost a year of my life in hospital, becoming paralyzed from my chest downwards, losing my job, my independence, my partner, my home, my ability to drive and then returning to an unknown world of living in a congregated setting; How did I find grit, heart and self-discipline to overcome personal complications and still find it in myself to try to support others?
And the truth is we are our own true source of motivation. It is not around us but deep within us. By understanding our real motives for doing things, our real values in life, our true purpose and the ways that we want to make a difference in the world we can control it. We decide to turn it on or off, to give it life or to lock it in shackles indefinitely. We might not be able to change our situations, but we can make the most of what we have and trust me when I say I know this is not always easy. There was days when I would hide under the covers of my hospital bed as the world around me turned in to a white noise and a blur but I could not escape the constant internal fight between anger and sadness; unable to move or think or breathe; forgetting how to exist and disoriented to the point of defeat. There were days where my lungs felt as if they were collapsing and my body was shaking so badly, my vision blurred from the gut wrenching doubts and reservations about my life that lay ahead. There, alone in the darkness it would feel like my heart had stop beating only to accelerate far past a normal rhythm as if it was going to explode in my chest. I would question if I was taking a heart attack as blood rushed to my head while the whole world faded away to a crystallized screen of silent white.
The answers to our real motives and true values will hopefully remind us that we are capable to overcome anything life throws at us, nothing will stop us from triumphing in the face of adversity. These are the questions to ask yourself, every day if need be, until you get to the answers and the answers will feed your motivation.